This one’s for the Ladies (Fellas, you too!)

The following is an excerpt from my up-coming book, The Golden Thread ™: Essential Principles of Self-Defense, which should be released sometime around April or May of 2008.  I have chosen to throw this page “into the mix” in order to strike a cord in the female heart… that self-defense is needed in these dangerous times… that they have it within them to be incredible fighters (if they practice and apply themselves)… and to prompt them to seek a qualified teacher at some point.  Remember guys and gals, “there is no time like the present.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

woman trapped at the bottom of staircase

Women who wish to be equal to men lack ambition.

    -Bumper Sticker

       Since the beginning of Man, females have been viewed as the weaker sex.  What’s surprising is that in all animal species, the females are the protectors; except in humans.  It’s no surprise considering most young girls study dance, music, and art while their brothers are wrestling and playing football.  It’s “just not in the cards” nowadays for a young girl to develop into a fighter (at least for the majority).          

     An FBI statistic states that eighty-six percent of women who fight back prevented the assault from happening.  The reason for this is that a predator preys on the weak and chooses a victim who’s an easy target.  Did you know that by fighting back, the female halves her chance of being brutalized and/or raped?  What a favorable statistic that is!    

     In this day-in-age, we are surrounded greatly by ignorance, miscommunication and misunderstanding.  Within the self-defense domain, it seems to be the males that account for much of the problem (sorry guys!).  Speaking as a man, I had always felt that I could protect my family, friends and (in particular) the women in my life from any outside threat.  How misguided was I?  As the culturally-accepted “protectors,” we (the males) limit our women by neglecting to prepare them for the unforeseeable.  And when they (god-forbid) happen to get assaulted, we (not all, but many of us) tend to think, “well…they shouldn’t have walked alone,” or “I told her to park in a well-lit area.”  How ignorant can we be?  If it had been us, would we have even thought, ” well… I shouldn’t have even parked my car?”

   Are we the same “pillar of understanding” when someone we know is raped?  Are our minds not flooded with such questions as, “I wonder how many drinks she had” or “what was she wearing?”  (I hope you guys can understand how negative and destructing this mindset can be).  It may surprise everyone to know this, but sex has little-to-nothing to do with why a sexual assault even takes place.  The type of man that has the “chemical imbalance” to perform such a disgraceful act is the type of man who wants to achieve a feeling of power over the victim.  The sad truth is that this type of guy exists and that they will continue to prey on women as long as they feel they can get away with it.  Besides the “power-trip” types, there are always the drug addicts, the abusive drunks, etc. to watch out for.  By learning how to effectively defend yourself the attacker’s mind is flooded with doubt; doubt that the outcome he seeks will not likely be obtained.

     The common question that women have at this point, is “how can I possibly defend myself against the strength of a male?”  The truth is that if you square off against a male attacker and try to “out box” him, you’ll fail ninety-nine percent of the time.  Instead, fight like a woman (not a man)… fight like cornered wolverine… fight using all your strength and cunning… and don’t fight fair.  This is how you win.  Your chances of success improve by keeping your mind and body healthy, by educating yourself on self-defense, taking self-defense classes and/or seminars, buying a guard dog, a weapon, or all the above. 

KEY NOTES

1)      Be confident, calm and direct.  If the situation becomes unavoidable, strike first, strike hard.

2)      When an opening arises, commit to the moment 100 percent, without hesitation. 

3)      Never let someone get away with sexual abuse and/or rape.  Tell someone,… anyone.  I know it will be difficult, but report the attack to the police.

4)      Continue to hone your skills.  Your body and the way you use it is the key to becoming a confident and capable fighter.  Never search for secret techniques, because frankly, they don’t exist.  Your mind, body and spirit are the only keys you need. 

Afternotes:  This draft has yet to be fully edited properly.  Please forgive any spelling, grammar, et cetera.  I just wanted to get this page out there for the purpose of self-defense education and nothing more.  Hope you enjoyed it…  if you wish, you may subscribe to the blog.  Please comment/ add your input… I’d love to hear from you, and I’m sure others would love to hear what you have to say as well.  Cheers – Coach M

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~ by chencenter on February 12, 2008.

6 Responses to “This one’s for the Ladies (Fellas, you too!)”

  1. Hi Michael,

    This is a hard topic to talk about but as you know – one that needs to be brought to light. The obvious is how women can defend themselves and have the confidence to do it and the other issue is what men really think about women putting up a fight. I think it is really important for women to decide how they intend to put up a fight if it ever happens. You pointed out that going toe to toe is probably not the best way for a women that is weaker and lighter to fight (paraphrasing)! I could not agree more. Women should use self-defense moves and surprise to their advantage.

    You also mention how men perceive women fighting. Nothing the women can do about that other than be aware so it is not overwhelming when they have to defend themselves! You might be interested in a couple of posts dealing with these issues. If you find anything interesting on the blog – feel free to use it… it is important that women and children learn self-defense or have a workable plan.

    http://myselfdefenseblog.com/http:/myselfdefenseblog.com/how-can-a-woman-fight-a-man-by-fighting-like-a-girl/

    http://myselfdefenseblog.com/http:/myselfdefenseblog.com/womens-self-defense-vs-sparring-with-man/

    Regards

    John W. Zimmer
    MySelfDefenseBlog.com

  2. Thanks John. Just came back from your page after some very interesting reading (and a re-watching) of the Joey B. vs. Chyna boxing match. Boy that was fun to see again. Anyways… in my opinon the element of surprise and the stance of “i’m not going to fight fair” are what women need to concern themselves about (for the most part). Learning to box and kickbox and all that is fine…but self defense seminars are not just recommendable, but (often) essential.

    And in regards to “gameplans”… sometimes I’m skeptical. Whereas I agree a woman needs a personal understanding of “how far she plans on taking the fight”…”where she’s stashed her weapon,” et cetera… ya know, personal boundries and such… gameplans often counterproductive. Train the body, feed the mind and preparr yourself for a situation that will never ever happen the exact way it was rehearsed. Thanks again John and I look forward to more of your blogging and inputs in the future. Cheers.-M.J.

  3. It’s great subject that needs to get more attention-worldwide- as a young woman myself, it is important to me to be able to protect myself and even those around me-not just from physical harm, but emotional harm too. When someone is sexually assaulted, it leaves emotional scars too, and it could be prevented.

    If more women knew that they could stand up and defend themselves from these sort of things, then it could change a lot of people’s lives- for once it would be the “bad guy’s” turn to lose.

    Haha, i’m not so sure those last two paragraphs made much sense…

    But I can’t wait to read the book Coach! 🙂

    (P.S.- I want to try to get this out there- for alot of people to read and see-to make an impact- is it okay if i put a link on my myspace to the blog?? 🙂

  4. Yes, please link this to your blog. Also, let your friends know that I’ll be at BestHealth in Hanes Mall on the 1st and 2nd Saturday in March (at 1:30). I’ll be putting together a special 5-week workshop in April (as a follow up to those events). Thanks for all your help in spreading the word. I wish all my littl’ wushu-ers were as gung-ho as you. 😉

  5. Michael! I finally found you… took a bit, but here I am. I like this post. It is important for women to know how to defend themselves, if for no other reason it gives them the confidence to know they can handle any situation – that confidence alone may very well be enough to ensure they are not a target.

    Thanks for the info… I’ll be back… 🙂

  6. I couldn’t agree more. By passing on the knowledge we are protecting the ones we love by encouraging their martial expression. And it is equally important to speak of the values of martial arts, so that they do not stray from the fundamentals of martial arts.
    Encourage those who want to learn to move like a martial artist to think like one as well.

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